As I look at the calendar, I count about 7 weeks left in the fall semester. Not that I’m trying to rush it or anything, but maybe a small part of me is. At the end of any semester I often find that it suddenly goes into this spiral of more difficulty.
Spiral of more difficulty? Yes, and I just wanted to say that I still have not mastered “test taking.” No matter how hard I try, spending every night and every weekend immersing myself in the material, I still have yet to take an “easy” test. I don’t think they exist.
I consider myself to be a good student and I work hard to earn my grades. I would even say that I work harder than most students because getting here was not easy and I’m fulfilling my dream to finally get the degree that was not possible in my youth.
And as I sit in class during testing sessions, trying to concentrate on the questions and choose the right answers, my minds spins out of control and I question every choice I make. I try not to rush myself and I slow down my thought process which then, makes me question if my answer is really the right answer, or if I’m overthinking it. See where I’m going with this? Insanity can take over in an instant.
So how do I fix my insanity? I stop for a second and I look around the room at all the other students (who are half my age) and then I say to myself, “If they can do this, you know you can too. You got this.” It’s like being in a room with all my children. Of course I can do this! And for the most part, my anxiety ceases and I get through it. But then when the test is over I feel like I didn’t study enough, I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t know ALL the answers. I can really beat myself up about it and I really shouldn’t. It’s unnecessary, self-imposed stress. I laugh about it now, but during the “cycle” I can be quite impossible to be around.
So what’s my point? My point is this. Nothing worth having is easy! If you really desire to fulfill a goal you have to give it your all. You have to wipe the dirt off your knees when you fall and get back in line to try again and again and again. And as long as I give it my BEST every time, than no matter what, I haven’t failed, I’ve already succeeded.